So, you started dating someone new and you are planning yourselves a little getaway. Right now, the relationship is all ponies and roses, what could go wrong with a trip? Well travelling with your partner for the first time can zap you into reality fast. Maybe I am not the best person to give advice on the subject. My wife and I planned a trip to Prague about two months into our relationship. Admittedly, my stomach may have dropped when I hit the buy button on Expedia. Luckily it worked out well for us, but I have been in situations where I would rather be at the proctologist then with my new (soon to be ex) partner.
Travelling with your partner can either solidify a relationship or break it down. You will learn a lot about yourself and your significant other by travelling with them. The further out of your comfort zone you go, the more you will learn. I love to travel, but it isn’t always easy. The long spouts of hunger, delayed flights, and getting lost. All of these things can test even the most rock-solid relationship; below are some tips and pitfalls to travelling with your partner for the first time.
What You Learn When Travelling with Your Partner for the First Time
Travelling with your partner for the first time really increases the learning curve in a new relationship. You go from having a nice buffer zone, to being immersed with one another. Even if you live together, you have your jobs to give you space. When you travel, you see each other 24/7 and you will find out a few things.
- Vacation Styles: You should discover this in the planning phase, but it will be solidified once you get there. If you are throwing on your hiking boots only to find your partner passed out with a bottle of tequila by the pool, you might not be meshing. Some people travel to explore, eat, and see everything. Others just want to nap the day away. We saw a couple that spent all day reading in a hotel lobby in Rome. These two were made for each other! To each his own. We were lucky, our styles of travel are very similar. The biggest difference we have is whether to eat gumbo or oysters when walking the streets of New Orleans.
- Your Partners Risk Tolerance: Once again you will learn this in the planning stage, but it will come out on the actual trip. You may be browsing flights to Egypt and they are packing the station wagon to go Wally World. Some people have not been exposed to new cultures and are afraid to explore. You may want to walk the streets the locals are on and they could be looking for the area with the most fanny packs to fit in.
- Your Partners Ability to Compromise: Travelling with a partner for the first time can really test a relationship in this sense. If your girlfriend, who is afraid of sharks, is willing to go scuba diving with you, you may have found a winner. On the other hand, you find you can’t agree on anything and neither one of you are budging. This could be a theme throughout the relationship.
Some Pitfalls of Travelling with a Partner for the First Time
- You Don’t like What You See: He or she may have had their representative going during the first few months of your relationship, but the mask will come off during an extended trip. You will find out how messy they are, how they handle stress. Basically, anything that slightly annoys you will much more pronounced. You really know a person when you’re lost in Prague and starving with street signs that might as well be written in Klingon, my poor wife sure did!
- They Go to Olive Garden in New York: Grounds for immediate dismissal. This happened to me when I was in college and I knew it was the beginning of the end. If someone hangs out primarily at tourist spots and eats at TGIF, it is almost as bad as them cheating on you. You might as well pack it in then and there. Travelling with your partner for the first time can show some ugly truths, frozen jalapeño poppers are one of those truths.
- You are Stuck with Them: You realize you hate your new girlfriend/boyfriend…now what? Now, unfortunately, they are with you 24/7, this doesn’t seem like the best situation. Take me for example, I was once hit the head with a piece of pizza by a crazy ex in Florida. That made the rest of the trip somewhat awkward. I know a guy who broke up with his girlfriend on the plane GOING to Europe. I couldn’t imagine a more uncomfortable next couple of weeks, let alone hours.
- You End up Engaged: This also happened to me! With my now wife on our last night in Prague, it was our first trip together. No more Thailand, no more late nights playing cards…how did this happen! Of course, I am joking, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It shows that travelling together will solidify an already good relationship, when done right. This leads me to my next point when Travelling with your partner for the first time.
Tips and Advice
- Start Small: Like a southern preacher caught at the bar, here is a case of “do as I say, not as I do.” As mentioned, I went to Prague on my first trip, something we planned two months into knowing each other. It worked out, but I know of other cases that didn’t have a happy ending. Being trapped for two weeks might be tough if you realize you hate the person after an hour.
- Don’t Bring Friends: This might sound counterintuitive, because friends might act as a buffer. To me this is exactly what you don’t want. Travelling with a partner for the first time is a relationship milestone. You can’t get the full experience if others are there. Also, one of you might feel out of place depending on the mix of friends you bring. If there is a disagreement, you also don’t need witnesses or Dear Abbeys to give you advice.
- Set Expectations: Communicating in a relationship is always a good idea. Talk about how you travel, what you would like to do and what you want from your partner. The less surprises that arise the better the situation. Also, and I can’t stress this enough, make sure they understand previously mentioned TGIF’s or Applebee’s are off limits. As you can see that experience scared me.
- Don’t Go to Soon: Once again, see the above statement given I broke this rule. In reality, even though I planned the trip to Prague after two months, there was a considerable gap between booking and going. If you are dating for a week, you probably shouldn’t run off to an island together. You want to learn all their annoying habits ASAP instead of easing into them.
Conclusion
Travelling with a Partner for the first time can be a make or break stepping stone in your relationship. Follow the above tips and it may help you avoid being “that couple” fighting in public. Travelling will show you the real side of your partner, test how they handle adversity, and show how you mesh together. If you haven’t lived together, you will learn a thing or two, and maybe just solidify that tingling notion that this IS the person for you..
