My last trip was to an all-inclusive resort, an experience I wrote about more extensively here. I judged a lot of my opinion on all-inclusive resorts based on my stay at the Playa Riviera. Therefore, it is more appropriate to do a full review of the Grand Tulum Riviera Maya in Playa Riviera on its own. What I liked and more pronounced, what I disliked.
If I were to give an honest review of the Grand Tulum Riviera in Playa Riviera, I will say the following. It is probably a nice enough resort for what you get. Less expensive than most, but really nothing to draw me to the place. The fact that it was more of a family spot than an Adult only establishment further hampered my enjoyment.
The Grand Tulum Riviera Maya in Playa Riviera is what it is. A resort, which offers what resorts do and nothing more. Lying around drinking cheap booze among tourists is all one does here. Not a lot that I loved or even liked about this spot, and I certainly wouldn’t go back, yet I feel some people will enjoy it. After all it did get a decent score on the various hotel sites. Let me break down this review of the Grand Tulum Riviera by room, food, atmosphere, and the beach.
The Room at the Grand Tulum Riviera
No Review of the Grand Tulum Riviera would be complete without looking at the room first. It was adequate, no more no less. First the positives, the room was a nice size. It had two bathrooms in it, which is much more than I needed having only one arse. Still in case I took a soccer mom home from the karaoke bar one night (and we both ate bad shrimp) I am sure it would have been appreciated. Also, if you are a couple going to a resort, like most people it might be beneficial. I also had a full living room and a separate bedroom.
The balcony was nice, although I think I got lucky with my view. Some people’s balcony faced the walkway, but mine overlooked a garden. I got to see a bunch of strange animals from my room, which is always interesting. It was a great place to drink one of the free beers they gave you in the fridge.
Speaking of which, the fridge was a complaint of mine, it is supposedly stocked, but with two beers and the bars closing early, I think they could do better. I was in a resort with free alcohol everywhere, two Dos Equis is stingy. Plus, I think there was one water and some soda, all of it felt cheap, especially for $250/night. I have been in hotels in Europe for $125/night that gave me free carafes of port (with refill).
The room although big was a little worn. It was nice in the sense that I didn’t see any bugs, it just needed a refresh. The couch was old and if you look closely, you can see signs of neglect. I get it, there are a ton of rooms, but still have standers. Overall, I would say that it was acceptable, just not mind blowing.
My room was a bit far from everything, there were trollies, but they didn’t come as frequently as I would like. It was just close enough to make taking the trolley a hassle. Besides, I wasn’t in a rush. That is all I have for my review of the Grand Tulum Riviera in terms of the room. To sum it up it was not bad, not great.
Review of the Grand Tulum Riviera: The Food
I think this was the worst part about the resort. The food was terrible, yet there was plenty of it. The combination of free and disgusting food is not a good one. I mentioned in my other post that all-inclusive resorts normally have terrible food, they took it to a new level. There were some bright spots, but not many.
I will begin with the “snack shops”, I tried to like these, I really did, they just made it so hard. The burger bar had the worst burgers on the planet. It was also swarmed with racoons, perhaps that was the meat? I am just asking the question because it didn’t taste like beef. The fries were equally disappointing they didn’t even make good drunk food. As a glutton for punishment, I tried their fish tacos, just mush, everything tasted awful at the snack bars. Not sure why the below guys kept showing up.
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Moving on to the petri dish of a buffet. Kids running everywhere, touching everything. In the seated area (inside) there were birds and racoon-like creatures roaming under the guests’ feet. Not to mention it was hard, if not impossible to get a drink or refill on your coffee. The only thing I liked was the omelet bar, not a lot of options but at least I know it was fresh and no kids’ grubby hands were on it. All I wanted was sushi when I got there. I had what they called Sushi and it was not satisfying. I know it is a buffet, but do you have to go out of your way to use low quality items?
My stay allowed me to receive one free meal “sit down” at the Grand Tulum Riviera. Depending on the length of your stay you get more. My choice was Japanese (to get my desired sushi), it was four courses and while better than the buffet it was still not a culinary destination. Probably getting sushi in Mexico was a stupid choice, but in my defense all the Mexican restaurants were booked. I did give the waiter a nice tip regardless and he proceeded to get me f*cked up with a full bottle of wine and a Tequila shot sampler. It is safe to say I can’t remember the whole night.
The Alcohol at Grand Tulum Riviera
As with most All-inclusive resorts the alcohol was free and yet I could not get drunk, except that one night. The drinks they made were so weak that a 10-year-old would complain. They had specialty cocktails served out of a coconut or pineapple, for $5, which had neither alcohol nor coconut in them. By the end I was switching to beer, which didn’t help my poolside body. How am I going to get the previously mentioned soccer mom into my room if I am bloated on beer? So yes, the alcohol is free, but they don’t put enough into the drinks, so it all worked out.
The Atmosphere
If I were to describe the atmosphere at this resort, I would say basic. It is connected to a couple of others in the same family, which I kind of wished I have visited. The pools were nice and clean, to me there weren’t enough bars in the hotel. Everything sort of screamed average. The atmosphere was fine, it felt like a resort you would see on a sit com or something.
There is a small shopping area that is part of this resort that I liked. You can get free drinks here as well; it was a nice way to break up the monotony of the hotel. The place just lacked character. It was crowded with tourists and didn’t have much substance to it. As mentioned all the rooms are clustered together which made it feel repetitive.
Other Amenities
I hit the gym one time and it was OK. I got scolded for not wearing a mask in the empty gym, even though people are packed together in all corners of the hotel. The equipment felt a bit old, and it did fill up somewhat fast, (hench the need for a mask) making it difficult to work out. This is why I only went once, if I wanted the planet fitness experience I would have stayed home.
In the center near the lobby there was a coffee bar that served drinks later in the afternoon. There was a live band singing the same old tired songs live bands always sing. Who wants to hear Brown Eyed Girl? Therefore, I passed. I didn’t go into the Dolphin exhibit either, they charged extra, and I wasn’t that interested in seeing a caged dolphin for a fee.
Service
How would I describe the service? Not very memorable. Not bad, just not great. The workers seemed overly busy which made it difficult to get help. I mentioned the buffet, I waited so long for a drink that I finally gave up and left. Coffee was the same problem. I guess the service wasn’t terrible, but I didn’t feel taken care of either.
The Beach
The most disappointing part of my stay at the Grand Tulum Riviera (besides the food) was the beach. I get that the hotel doesn’t own the gulf, but this beach was pathetic. This was a destination forced upon me, I didn’t do my normal research. I don’t know why I was expecting clear beautiful beaches, but that isn’t what I got.
The first thing I noticed was very few people were in the water (if any). For good reason. The floor is incredibly rocky, almost dangerous. The hotel set up some chairs along the side, but that is it. No beach bar, seaweed everywhere, I rather fill my bathtub up and throw some goldfish in, it would have been more pleasant. If you are going to the Grand Tulum Riviera for the beach, pick a better location… or country even.
Review of the Grand Tulum Riviera
Here ends my Review of the Grand Tulum Riviera. How would I rate it? Completely average and forgettable. It was nice because I was in a resort, but I was bored and underwhelmed. Needless to say, I will not be recommending the Grand Tulum Riviera. My final score in this Review of the Grand Tulum Riviera: 5 out of 10
