When I travel, I sometimes get a sense of wonder from this amazing planet. When visiting Santorini, Greece, for example, when I first witnessed the beautiful scenery, I thought I was staring into Mother Nature’s blue eyes. Contrast that with when I first bared down on Albuquerque in which it more resemled being shoved straight up her arse after an all you can eat burrito night. Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a great city… yet, I miss it somehow. Not unlike how I miss an abusive ex who is “going to change”. The sheer strangeness of the city is what keeps me longing for it. It is hard to believe this place is in the United States. This begs the question: Is Albuquerque worth visiting?
Is Albuquerque worth visiting? I don’t think under normal circumstances you should make Albuquerque a special destination. Would I go again… in a heartbeat, but I think that had more to do with the company than the city itself. I went with my best friend; I think we could have fun in Antarctica. This is not to say there weren’t a lot of interesting nooks in the city. It is just that when measured against other places (especially if you are bringing your family) you may want to reconsider. Having said that, if you are forced to go there are certainly ways to have a good time.
The Landscape
The surrounding mountains are actually very nice. I have always been a fan of the mountains; Albuquerque is engulfed by beautiful ones. It is then like someone dumped a combination of the little towns found in the South and something out of North Korea in the center of them. One would think they went out of their way to make this place look as ugly as possible. There are some decent houses, but even those are surrounded by God awful, half-built, soulless buildings. Somehow what you see in Breaking Bad is a pretty version of the city. Is Albuquerque worth visiting for the beauty…NO! If you must there are two areas which you will spend your time (neither of them is in the “war zone”, the area between San Mateo and Wyoming on Central Ave.) The two sections to visit in Albuquerque are Downtown and Old Town.
Downtown
Be careful or you will miss this one. I almost did, even when standing on top of it. This is the more “fun” section where everyone goes out. By everyone I mean the tweakers, strung out on meth. Yes, there are non-drug addicts also, just not many of them. I never saw a Downtown so empty on a Friday night. Really this area is dead during the day, and only somewhat lively at night.
I guess the best bars were the strip clubs, so many women just coming up to me, not sure if it was my paper money or my full set of teeth! Dining wise, I really enjoyed the food hall 505 Central. It had a great bar and better food than the one in the Sawmill Market, and I loved the vibe. Downtown itself is not very big by most cities’ standards and some of the bars have weird rules. I was going to recommend Boots and Bourbon, but they wouldn’t let me in the second time because I looked drunk. For the record, I had three drinks at this point. No sir, I am not drunk… and you are making it hard for me to get that way! A small area with bars and breweries, that is about 3 or four blocks. It is your only game in town at night. Is Albuquerque worth visiting for its downtown? Nope
Old Town
Definitely the more aesthetically pleasing of the two areas, it is the section of the city where you go with your family. If you hate them and won’t take them to Disney that is. It is small as well, but busy during the day and dead at night. Is Albuquerque worth visiting just for Old Town? Once again No! It is your typical touristy area, if you want a bad key chain, T-Shirt, or bottle opener this is your place! Having said this, there are some good wine stores and if it is a nice enough day, it is great to sit outside and drink. You can also walk to the overpriced Sawmill market, an expensive food hall that was just mediocre. There are some other places to eat in the area that I will get into in later posts. For now, if you have any decency and a family stay in Old Town.
The Food = Not Impressed
I tried… really, I did, but the food was only OK. I like to eat, and I ate a lot, but many of the meals were clear misses. The first thing you need to know is that Green chiles are huge here. They are known for their Tex-Mex. I had Green chiles on multiple occasions and did not enjoy them in this city. Now I loved the Green chiles in Denver and had delicious homemade chiles in another life, but here in Albuquerque, they just didn’t get them right. All the Mexican was missing a spice level that I expected. We did our best to try as many of the top spots as possible, they all were just OK. My favorite was TINO’S TACOS in the food hall. I thought it would be a drunk night throw away, but it was pretty good.
The food scene did start improving, but I wouldn’t say this is a foodie destination. More chiles on everything, good Hot dogs at the Doghouse, a local spot that was in Breaking bad. I didn’t really try the fine dining, because that is harder to find then Bigfoot riding a unicorn in Albuquerque. Bottom line, the food was decent, but I wouldn’t describe it as good. Oh, as a side note, buy some Pepto, you’ll thank me later.
The Atmosphere (The Feel of Albuquerque)
I always judge a place by how quickly I see someone going to the bathroom in the street. 3-Minutes, that is all it took. Many people think of Breaking Bad when they think of Albuquerque, given the show was filmed there. For me, it felt more like an episode of the Walking Dead. The amount of tweakers strung out on meth was unbelievable (and sad, yes, they are out of their minds, but they are also human beings). It has decimated an already depressing city.
Maybe Albuquerque is worth visiting just to scare kids straight. Nancy Regan has nothing on these people when it comes to antidrug ads. Being yelled at by a crazy lady. Seeing a man take a #2 in a dumpster, and the number of solo conversations was unbelievable.
The whole place looked like an alternate universe. There were even addicts in Old Town, although not as many. The buildings were old, at times in the middle of town at a reasonable hour there was no one around. Not even a car, hell not even a dog barking. Every city has a feel (but Charlotte), the feel you get from Albuquerque is depression.
Is Albuquerque worth visiting? At Times I Thought Yes
Even after the subpar food and depressing environment I still had fun. This might have had more to do with my friend joining me. Misery loves company… and it loves Tequila. I had both. We were able to scrap together a damn fun trip. Every city has its spots, whether it be a drunken visit to the rattlesnake museum (really a glorified pet store without puppies) or one of the many breweries. Albuquerque can be an adventure.
There is plenty to do outside of drinking and eating subpar Mexican food. If you like hiking, you can go see the Native American drawings that must have been done by their kindergarten class. The desert is nice and there are plenty of trails to explore. Of course, there are a lot of deserts in America, but if you are in Albuquerque, might as well hit theirs. Noticed I didn’t mention balloons. This trip wasn’t in ballooning season so I cannot speak to it. If you love hot air balloons, then Albuquerque is worth visiting at the right time.
Bottom Line: Is Albuquerque worth visiting?
While it is possible to have a great time in Albuquerque, there are certainly better places in the Southwest to visit. Hell, there are better places in Iran, I am sure. This is an interesting city. I wouldn’t go out of my way to see it, but if you are forced to go, accept it for what it is and have a great time! Just know when to quit!
