People always say “have a good flight” or “have a safe flight” but what does that really mean, and how much of it is under our control? You can tell me to have a safe flight all day long, but I am not exactly flying the plane, so why say it? Everything may not be in your control, but you can improve your odds in both safety and comfort. Many times, you can do this without adding too much to the cost of your flight.
I have experienced opposite ends of the spectrum. I have been on terrible flights. Picture sitting in the middle, with a giant Scandinavian, who takes the arm rest. As a side, everyone knows the middle guy gets all the arm rests, if you didn’t, now you do. I have been on amazing flights, where I was treated like a king. This one may be cheating, since my wife upgraded us to first class going to Istanbul. Remove the unknown, slightly gut-wrenching cost of first class, you can have a good flight, even in economy. You need to remember some basic rules. Below are some tips I’ve picked up on how to have a good flight. Also, if you are not the pilot, how to have a safe flight, (or at least safer).
How to Have A Good Flight: Pack the Right Gear
If you want to be comfortable on a flight, you need to prep for it; spending 13 hours with no entertainment will test even the most patient man (or couple). There have been too many advances in technology for someone to be bored while flying. Below are some of the things I pick up to make my trip more bearable.
- Mpow 059 Bluetooth Headphones Over Ear, Hi-Fi Stereo Wireless Headset – Kind of hard to have a good flight with some slacked jawed idiot yapping in your ear about turnips (or whatever slacked jawed idiots talk about). Cut out the sound with noise cancelling head phones. No need to spend $350 on something if a $40 pair can do the same thing.
Of course, I do have the expensive ones, the below pair are Beats and I love them. So if you are have the cash you can go for the Beats Solo3 Wireless On-Ear Headphones – Black
2. Anker PowerCore II 10000 – Nothing worse than having 10 hours of Netflix on your iPad and having no juice to watch your series. This charger works with both Samsung and Apple products (because neither company could make it easy on us and use the same plug). There are a ton of different types on the market, this one is more than effective.
3. SkySiesta SNUG Travel Pillow- Two L-Shaped, Fiber Filled Head Supports, Bag, Eye Mask
4. Men’s Comfort Knitted Cotton Slippers Comfortable footwear is crtical to helping you have a safe trip (which I will explain later), slippers are great for walking around the cabin. No one wants to keep their shoes on during a 9-hour flight. Also no one wants to see your bare feet or socks..
Choose Your Seat Wisely
Not everyone can fly first class, I almost never do.. I opt to spend my money on eating, drinking, and being merry when I get to my destination. Having said this, I cannot have a good flight if I am sitting in the middle, it just won’t happen. I also don’t like the window, only because I am boxed in and I get claustrophobic. Everyone’s idea of a good seat is different, the important thing is you have to choose it wisely. Some airlines charge you to pick a seat, even in coach…a despicable practice. Others don’t, so shop around.
I have three criteria when picking a seat, first, I like the aisle, I go for that above anything else. Second, I like to be close to the front, so I can get off quickly. Lastly, I look for spots with no one else next to me if I am travelling alone. If only I could get a picture of the people on the plane and where they are sitting it would make my life easier. This way I can avoid earlier mentioned giant Scandinavians who will need two arm rests.
I once had the misfortune of sitting at the back, in the middle, right near the bathroom. Worse yet, the airline must have had a special chili dinner, let’s just say the experience was less than desirable. Moral of the story, take some time to learn your airlines seat choosing policy and pick your seat ahead of time.
Upgrade if You Can
As mentioned most of the time upgrading can be expensive. We are talking thousands of dollars for a trip. I have flown first class to Europe, it is nice, it isn’t worth $1000 extra dollars. I like money too much. Having said this, there are some tricks the can work. First, check seat availability at the gate on your phone, if first has open spaces ask the ticket agent right before boarding, there may be some incredible deals. If half of first class is open 10 minutes before boarding, you will be surprised how cheap an upgrade can be…
Also, you don’t have to upgrade all the way to first class to have a good trip, many times premium plus (or something equivalent to this) is available. Many out there will tell you that the upgrade isn’t worth the cost. Sometimes it is just an extra six inches of leg space. Six inches might not sound like a lot, but it makes a world of difference in terms of comfort. (Insert joke here..)
Choose a Better Flight Time
Flying at weird times can equal a half empty plane. On our first trip to Prague, we were close to upgrading our flight. Then we were informed that we had the whole row to ourselves. You can do a lot with 3 extra seats and it made the long flight extremely bearable. This is a gamble, but it is worth a try. The less crowded the flight the more likely you are to have a good flight…because let’s face it, people can be awful.
Have a Safe Flight
Let’s move on to flight safety for a minute, because it is something you can control. To have a good flight, you need to have a safe flight. I used to think when someone said “have a safe flight” they were crazy, given I am a terrible pilot. There are dangers and risks on a flight that are not as obvious as what most people fear. Odds are you will take off and land safety.
I am more worried about getting sick from something I catch on the flight then a crash. Nothing would suck more than getting to your destination, only for the germs from the person sneezing on you to make you too ill to enjoy it. You can’t eliminate of all the dangers, but you can tilt thing in your favor.
#1 Rule to Have a Safe Flight:
Don’t Eat the Food
Gordon Ramsey puts in eloquently in this article, I tend to agree. In reality, the food served on a plane is disgusting (see above picture). There are no other circumstances that I can think of where people so mindlessly eat such low-quality food. Ok, maybe at Arby’s, but even that is better. Plane food is the culinary equivalent of a train wreck. Wherever you are going the food will be better. No need to waste stomach real estate on sub-par food.
Worse than being disgusting, it can be dangerous. The meals are made up to 72 hours in advance and are reheated. All of this with the some of the worst grade food and created by non-culinary experts. There are other options, other than eating the monstrosity that they serve.
- Maybe it is time to practice intermittent fasting: If you are going to be flying for 8 hours, you can always just not eat. You do it every night anyway, when sleeping. I think it is better to not eat then to get Botulism. Plus, your taste buds actually change (get dull) when in the air, although this might be for the best after glancing at the above picture a second time.
- Pack a light snack: I don’t think most people know that you can bring just about any (no large container of liquids) food onto a plane. Pack a sandwich or a snack and eat it throughout the trip. I am sure you can make something that is better than what is being served. Just don’t bring sardines or a strong garlic and tuna hero, you want your fellow passengers to have a good flight as well.
- Get Sloshed– This is self-explanatory, but you can always drink your way to fullness. It has the added benefit of killing the bacteria from any airplane food you may have consumed. If you are flying domestic, you can bring the little bottles of alcohol onto the plane to save cost. You need to use a plastic bag as with all liquids you carry on.
#2 Rule to Have a Safe Flight:
Clean Your Space
While we are on the subject of health, it is safe to say people are gross. Get on the plane, look around, how many of those people do you trust to shake your hand? The bathroom sinks in the plane can’t handle the grossness. You need to combat this festering, disease ridden, environment the best you can.
Two pieces of advice:
A. Bring Hand Sanitizer such as CleanWell Alcohol Free Natural Hand Sanitizer Ð .
B. Sanitize the rest of the area with Sani-Cloth Alcohol-Free Disinfectant Wipe Singles – Box of 50
Scrub the crap out of anything you might touch, and your hands. This way that sneezing lady, gross kid or the big dude who “forgot” to wash his hands in the bathroom can’t get you sick. Staying healthy is key for you to have a safe flight.
Addition April, 2020: Another obvious update in Spring 2020, masks help. They certainly give you some protection of the diseases floating in the recirculated air….if you can find them. Even after Covid-19, wearing a mask on a blame will stop the spread of all kinds of diseases.
Walk Around
Blood clots are a rare, but real danger when flying. Some of you are more prone than others to blood clots, so of course ask your doctor about the best way to handle this. Make sure you are aware of the dangers even if you don’t have any known blood clot risks. Walk around as much as possible, probably best to get up at least once an hour to keep the circulation flowing. This is why I mentioned slippers earlier in this post (now you will look twice at them). you can strut around the plane without feeling grossed out.
Pay Attention to Security Messages
I guess if I am telling you how to have a safe flight, I should touch on the security message at the beginning of the flight. I hope you never have to use their advice, but it probably best to at least pay some attention to what they are saying and where the exits are. Of course, any kind of accident and one could say that you didn’t have a safe flight. If paying attention helps you walk away from a bad situation, all the better.
Conclusion
If you want to have a good trip you need to take care of comfort and safety. You can’t just wander onto a plane and hope that everything will work out, there are too many variables. I know this advice seems like common sense, but a lot it is overlooked. Bring the right gear, stay healthy and upgrade if you can, that will help stack the odds in your favor. Even if you don’t have a good flight, remember you are (hopefully) going someplace fun, which makes it worth the headache. So, enjoy and have a safe flight!
