Five Types of Buzzkill Tourists

Anthony Bourdain once had a sign that read, “be a traveler not a tourist.” I take those words to heart, this is a travel blog, not a tourist vacation blog. Yes, there will be times I discuss laying on the beach, but I am all about eating and exploring. I know I tend to bash some tourists, but I don’t dislike my fellow traveler. It is more of a sense of frustration. Traveling is such a wonderful and important experience; I just get bothered when people don’t fully appreciate the journey.

I am talking about the people who just suck the life out of you when traveling; the people who insist on not having fun or complaining when things aren’t perfect. The people who are the loud, soul sucking buzzkills for the rest of us. Complain in the airport when Delta or American fucks you, but not if it is raining. So without further ado, these are the types of tourists I don’t like.

The Literal Buzzkill

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Here we are in New Orleans, sipping on a delicious hurricane. It was late, almost 11:00 am on a Saturday. When a couple walks up behind us, the husband asks his wife if she wants a drink…her response, “it’s a little early!” Who is keeping score in New Orleans when on vacation? Who the hell cares, I don’t get it, you are still living by societies tight arse, unwritten rules about drinking, when away from home? I know you are thinking you will be judged, but the only real reason you are being judged is that you are constrained by social norms…that exist in your head.

This idea goes for eating also, who are these people who don’t want to deviate from their diet while away? I don’t eat carbs (even though I LOVE them) is something that should NEVER be said or heard in Italy. So, if you are the type of person who eats healthy, goes running every morning, or looks at their partner crossed-eyed when he orders a second (or third) glass of wine while traveling…you my friend are a buzzkill… At least you won’t be in line when I am going for my fourth cannoli…

The Lounger

I get it, you’re tired, you work hard. You just want to rest all night and all day, but there is too much of a good thing. I don’t understand the person that would avoid seeing sights in lieu of sitting around the pool. If there is some crazy temple around the corner, but that is too much walking for you, you are also a buzzkill. This is especially true for whoever you are traveling with who wants to go explore and not sleep…you are buzzkilling them..

We can lay around the pool at home, when traveling around the world, you need to get out a see something you never have experienced before. Don’t tell me about how much walking it is or that you would rather be in a hammock. You might as well save the money; you are better off sleeping on your couch at home if you aren’t going to fully explore an area. There are ways to get your rest in while seeing a beautiful and unique landscape. Too many times I have heard people say, that something is too strenuous, let’s just hang out here by the pool. It is your life, you can vacation how you want, but if you would rather sip overpriced cocktails on the beach rather then explore a city, you aren’t a traveler…you’re a tourist.

The Unadventurous

If you are the type of person who won’t go out of their comfort zone when away I pity you. Seeing people lined up in front of an Applebees in Prague is a sad, sad sight. It pains me to witness this kind of behavior. A lot of people travel, without really traveling. A fast food burger tastes similar all around the world, no need to get one when away. Try that weird restaurant, you most likely will be pleasantly surprised.

This goes for attractions also. It puzzles me why people will wait in line for hours for one attraction.. a certain elevator… I will go to a small museum and it is like a ghost town. Some of my best travel experiences are from the little hidden away spots. If you hangout only in the giant square with the man who paints his body in all silver and doesn’t move, you may be a buzzkill.

The Changer

Every place has and should have, a unique feel and culture. A growing number of people keep complaining that things don’t match their close-minded view of the world; they want everyplace to look like a cheap Times Square or Vegas, with all of the regulations to craftily wrap up their insanity. To me you’re taking away one of the reasons I travel to other cities and countries…

I have heard for calls and read articles arguing to make the French Quarter a park (to limit alcohol and music) and to make things “safer” (America has been bubble taped, now bubble tape the world). A lot of times they use children as a crutch, of course the media doesn’t help. They love to over hype situations to make it seem like you can’t leave your bedroom. If you don’t like the culture of a place, don’t go there…there are plenty of Chuck E Cheeses on the planet. If you want to change a place because it doesn’t fit into your morals, you are a buzzkill to all travelers…

No Respect

The disrespectful are by far the buzzkills I hate the most. Little by little they destroy beautiful places. It may be something as small (and disgusting) as flicking a cigarette onto the beach, or something much more disgraceful like the arseholes who insist on carving their name into a 500-year old church. If you treat a foreign place like your local trailer park, you’re a buzzkill and a jackass. Even places like Bourbon Street deserve some respect, yet it is often treated like a trash heap…

Disrespect can be shown in other ways. Taking selfies at a cemetery or an area where a tragic event happened (blow-up dolls carried to the 9/11 Twin Tower’s Memorial will guarantee you an ass-whoopin’..I wish this was a hypothetical example..), being rude to locals or totally ignoring customs. These are just some of the many ways I have seen tourist act with total disregard for the country they are in. Respect other cultures don’t be a buzzkill…

Conclusion

I don’t care how you travel; I just want you to have your best experience. Don’t just vacation, EXPLORE, live your best life and get out of your comfort zone a bit. If you must act like one of the above, try not to be a buzzkill for the rest of us…