Visiting Marrakesh is like dating a stripper (which, I have NEVER done.. I love you, sweetheart!), it is fun and wild, but it may kill you if you stay with it for too long. My opinion would sway instantly from one second to the next in the heart of the city. I would go one moment from being impressed by the pure energy of the city, never knowing what to expect around every corner. The next minute, I am being pissed off by the sensory overload of my surroundings, wishing I had never left the beautiful Lisbon streets!

Some may say I didn’t spend nearly enough time in the city to really appreciate all it had to offer. Maybe not, but I know my heart (or bowels) couldn’t handle a week in Marrakesh, Morocco. Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing… outside the hotel, this city is neither, and yet there was a certain allure to the craziness. 

First Impressions of Marrakesh, Morocco

Getting onto the street after a short, yet tiring flight from Lisbon we find our driver; on the road more than two minutes, I am dazzled by the free for all nature of the cars and people. We witnessed some crazy things right off the bat. For example, a woman on a fast scooter, gripping her husband with one hand and a small baby with another, like she was rushing a field. Babies must be good luck on scooters, they were on the back of them, the handle bars, all over really… helmets need not apply.

The city itself was both beautiful, and yet extremely poor in many areas. The mountains in the background, the walls of the Medina, it was like nothing I have ever seen. Pulling into our hotel, the Andalla Riad and Spa we quickly checked in and hit the streets. Shit got real immediately, you would have thought we wandered into a Dothraki village in Game of Thrones, it was such a free for all. Walking the narrow Souk, having motor bikes come at you from every direction. People shouting at you, stores everywhere, my mind almost exploded. Little did we know it was just the beginning of my adventure.

Reasons I Love Marrakesh, Morocco: The Energy

I wanted different and I got it when I visited this city. Just walk 5-minutes from your hotel and you can see more craziness here than on entire trips in other destinations. Not all good mind you, but exciting just the same. I never knew what to expect and I love that feeling of anticipation. The night made it even more interesting, when sun goes down on Jeema Market the energy was lifted ten-fold. Snake “charmers”, guys with hawks, monkeys on chains (something that can be abusive) it was maddening. Combine that with people screaming at you in every direction in five different languages, Marrakesh, Morocco was something out of a movie.  All of that, and 25 stalls selling the same orange juice…people must really need their vitamin C.

To Read Reviews of the Andalla Riad and Spa and to Book Your Hotel Click Here!

Reasons I Love Marrakesh, Morocco: Andalla Riad and Spa

This was our hotel during our short stay and I loved the establishment. The hotel offered a reprieve from the madness outside.  The employees were some of the nicest people in the city or any I encountered on the entire trip. The establishment itself was beautiful, a small boutique hotel, with a great rooftop for dining. It was close to the Jeema Market (about 10 min walk), but far enough away where it created a buffer for the noise outside. It had the added bonus of having a lock outside the door, where even guest had ring a bell to get in… not ideal if you are being chased by street toughs, but good for protection of your goods.

Reasons I Love Marrakesh, Morocco: The Beauty

Well, by beauty I mean the environment. Some of the roads got a little questionable at times. It is an amazing setting, with the mountains in the background, the old Medina walls, and the crazy shops. Like everything else in the country, my head was spinning from when I first entered. If you can look past the hustle and bustle you will find an incredible atmosphere. The environment is unique to anything I have experienced outside the city. Some of the backdrops seemed as if they were staged, you certainly don’t get this kind of beauty in Charlotte.

Hit or Miss: The Food

I don’t think I was there long enough to get a true feel for the food, although I did have some tasty things. Our first stop was a little cafe overlooking one of the smaller squares, where I had the best couscous of my life (see below) (no offense grandma!). All of the meals after that were good, nothing too crazy. Although, I did get some street food, I didn’t get as much as I normally would for two reasons. First, for the most part I was concerned about the life changing diarrhea I heard so much about. Having said this, I did put my stomach to the test for a few hours, eating donuts fried in questionable grease and a mystery meat sandwich which by any logic should have punished my colon (see above).

The second reason why I didn’t eat more street food was the aggressive sell from the merchants at the Jeema Market. I wanted to look around and pick what I wanted, yet I was so bombarded that every stall was a major turn off. It wasn’t just the approach, it was the in your face nonstop push to sell. If I walk away while you are speaking, you have already lost me, following me won’t help. The carts/stalls I did choose, like the bowel destroying sandwich, didn’t yell at me to come to them. In the square, I couldn’t even look at a juice guy without having people shouting at me. Pro Tip: If you want more business, don’t shout at the customer, try NOT selling the same thing that 25 other carts are selling, which brings me to my next point… why I hate Marrakesh.

Reasons I hate Marrakesh, Morocco: SOME of the people

First, let me say that I didn’t dislike all the people in this city, but there are some real Arseholes! I don’t want to hear the “it is a different culture garbage”, there are something’s that are universally bad. Running a man down on your scooter, almost hitting a woman with a baby, and not stopping is bad. Following me and my wife for two blocks until I point you out to a policeman is bad. Shoving me because I am not stepping over children in a ridiculously crowded Souk is terrible. 

We constantly had people try to direct us the wrong way, strike up conversations leading us away from our hotel either to get us to a shop or toward a more unfortunate situation. This is common place, so much so that we were warned not to talk to or follow anyone ‘appearing too friendly’ from the manager at the hotel. I have been to over 20 countries and 4 continents, I understand cultural differences, deliberate dishonesty or worse is not a cultural difference.

Reasons I hate Marrakesh, Morocco: It is a Hassle

The number one rule in this city is: Nothing is for Free or Easy. I was being hassled nonstop for money, every transaction no matter how simple, there was a guy (or lady) with their hand out. A vacation is supposed to be relaxing, the two and a half days I spent in Marrakesh, Morocco was anything but relaxing. Everything was trying my patience, there are no leisurely strolls or window shopping. I mentioned the street food earlier, I couldn’t even glance at the food without being bombarded with requests. If I said I already ate, they still didn’t quit. If I walked away, they STILL followed us. I shouldn’t have to be a trained escape artist to maneuver around a city.

For the first time in our travels, my wife and I decided to take a tour bus. We were enjoying our ride, heading to the Majorelle Gardens, when we made a stop. We wait and wait, finally after about 25 minutes people start getting off. Upon questioning the driver, he says another bus will be here in an hour. No information was given, we had to ask for it. Luckily, we caught the only yellow cab to come down this desolate Moroccan street, of course he charged us $20 for a ride that should have cost $5. At least while I waited I was able to get the above picture from the bus.

After finally arriving at the gardens and trying to take a picture, this guy who works at the garden grabs my phone…and insists on taking 10 pictures, and then waits for a tip. You have to be on guard for the upsell. After grabbing another cab (and dealing with two drivers fighting) we tell the guy to take us to the market. Upon parking I asked, “how much”? He looks shocked and says I don’t know, you tell me! Now who is better at determining the going rate of a cab? Me the tourist there for a day…or him the fucking CAB DRIVER in Marrakesh! I threw him about $10 of his currency and left. It was nonstop, I loved the energy of Marrakesh, but it also created a stressful atmosphere.

Reasons I hate Marrakesh, Morocco: Safety

Upon leaving our hotel, I am stopped at front desk, I was told please leave the room key. I asked the manager is it safe out there? He said “perfectly” then proceed to make sure we didn’t have our passports and explained how the two front corridors to the hotel are locked at all times. Take out the earlier mentioned guy following us or the shady people giving us misdirection, there are other ways to get injured.

I was almost trampled by a horse, run over by a scooter multiple times, there are snake charmers trying to get you to kiss their snakes…this was all in two days. Let us not forget the most dangerous thing in the city. The previously mentioned colon killing sandwiches (that taste Sooo good) all over the street. Safety…or lack of it, was one reason someone could say “I hate Marrakesh“.

Last Impressions

As the driver pulled away in our car we were still confused. I was still seeing things that shocked me. Whether it was the guy holding down a live chicken with an ax in his hand in a store window. (That chicken was in someone’s belly by nights end.) Or if it was watch YET another guy wearing a helmet losing it on the road while going 60 MPH, while it became a projectile missle for other drivers. It was all so surreal.

Do I hate Marrakesh, Morocco? Do I love Marrakesh Morocco? I am still not sure. I know I could only take it in small doses, yet the idea of never returning saddens me. If you don’t mind a stressful hassle, you will get an experience you will never forget. It is like the comment I mentioned earlier about dating a stripper…darling I had a hell of a time, but my heart and wallet can’t handle any more of your madness! (I love you, sweetheart!)

The post A Review of Marrakesh, Morocco: A Love/Hate Relationship appeared first on Man in Flight.