This post is a long time coming. I have been going to Charleston for years and it has a special place in my heart; amongst my favorite reasons, this is where my wife and I got married. We have spent many weekends exploring the city (and prepping for the wedding). Since then, we have continued to return to the city throughout the years, once even on Christmas day. Needless to say, I love this city. The last time we went was last month, and once again,  we had a great time. To be fair there are some drawbacks to this classic town, but for me the charm of the city keeps me coming back.  Listed below are the reasons why.

The Food in Charleston is Amazing

Certain cities in the United States are food destinations such as New York and New Orleans. Charleston should be added to this list, it should be a destination for anyone who owns a mouth. Like other food destination cities, there are certain dishes I would only get in Charleston. My favorite being She-Crab soup. I would bathe in this stuff if it were socially acceptable. A rich, creamy broth, with chunks of crab and added sherry that gives the soup a nice burn. This is one of those items that can’t be (or shouldn’t be) had outside of Charleston.  My two spots are Middleton Place Plantation which is somewhat of a drive, and Amen Street Fish and Raw Bar. There may be natives who stumble upon this site and have a better spot, pray-tell me about it..

Another item that seems to have been born here is shrimp and grits. Two simple ingredients and such a deadly combination. I had it last month, at High Cotton. This restaurant is highly recommended for all meals, they can make a shoe taste good.

All in all, there are so many good restaurants, with so many good items, that one section can’t begin to capture it. I very rarely have a bad meal in Charleston, when I do my wasted hunger is a greater loss than the money.

One additional thing I love about the town is they have a great bar scene. My favorite is Thoroughbreds Lounge, inside the Charleston Place Hotel. The open setting, combined with the piano player makes for a very cool atmosphere. The drinks are also wonderful, as is the sweet, savory, spicy nuts they put on the table. The Gin Joint is another bar that I attempt to get to at least once a trip. A bit small inside, but it has a great atmosphere with some very nice drinks. These are just two of many great bars in Charleston.

After all these cocktails you may want to eat again. Pizzeria Di Giovanni serves a pie the size of a football field. It wasn’t New York Pizza, but it hit the spot. Speaking of wanna be New York Pizza avoid the place with the name New York City Pizza on Bay Street, after eating a slice here I finally found out what they did with all those horse droppings from the carriages. 

Charleston has Great History

Whether you want to see where the civil war started, Fort Sumter, or you just want to look at old southern mansions and plantations, Charleston is your place. This is one of the oldest and historically significate cities in the United States. Charleston is ranked as the 11th oldest city in the U.S., and is as important as any in the country.

Just walking around the city is like going back in time. Stroll through the streets and admire the old homes. Walk down Rainbow Row and enjoy the street or make your way to the marketplace, which has an terrible history, but now sells local products with a museum underneath. Walk to The Battery, where you can overlook the Atlantic, and spot Fort Sumter on a clear day. I would recommend taking a short walking tour, the history can be so subtle you may miss something.

For the braver soul learn about the cities haunted past. We have taken two tours now, one a walking ghost tour, which taught us as much about the city as it did scare us. The second was something that had us rethinking our sanity. We took a tour of the old Charleston jail, where a number of local famous criminals died. The woman who lead the tour is either a liar, a crazy or a brave badass (my vote is the latter). The stories she told would make me rethink my career choices if I were her. Of course, on the other hand, she also offers a private ghost study at 2 AM, that I may be crazy enough to check out…

Charleston is Beautiful

Whether it is Christmas in Charleston or the dead of the summer I feel like I am in a Hallmark movie when exploring the city.  It almost looks fake at times; no city can be this perfect. Expensive shops and galleries line Meeting Street. You have horse and buggy tours pulling people around town. In once section there is water, other parts of town there are picturesque plantations. The area is truly like a painting. It is also one of the cleanest places I have ever been too, that is saying a lot with the amount of people (and horses) on the streets.

It is no wonder why we (and thousands more) chose to get married in this town. I can think of no better back-drop. We got married in the center, at the Mills House hotel. For this reason, we always at least stop by for a drink every time we return. 

For a more rustic feel, check out the Middle Place Plantation (mentioned early regarding their she-crab soup). Just walking around the grounds is beautiful, on a cool day, I can spend hours wandering the trails. I even saw a tiny alligator swimming in one of the lakes. Where there are small alligators there are big ones so watch your step.

Negatives about Charleston: It is Expensive

Charleston is unnecessarily expensive. Yes, I love this town, but some weekends we are talking $400 + for a room in downtown Charleston. There have been times when our trip cost more than a trip to Istanbul, with flight. 

The meals aren’t much of a deal either. Yes, the food is great, but expect to drop $150 on a dinner for two. Drinks, around $15 a pop in most places. During the week you can find some good happy hour deals, I try and ramp up my drinking in this time frame. 

The Parking Racket

On top of the stomach-turning cost of the hotel, almost all decide to screw you even more by charging around $30/night to park…at their hotel. This for those who didn’t parachute through the window.

To make matters worse, some of the independent lots are owned by criminals. Example: During this last trip we parked in a lot behind the Hilton run by the scumbag behind the Hilton. Every morning I would pay the $8 a day as advertised. So how surprised was I to find that me and everyone else in the lot had their car booted? So, when this idiot gets there, I show him the money that is still partially in the slot.  He says he doesn’t care and proceeds to charge us $50 anyway. Then, charges my wife’s card for the last day of parking, after he booted us and stole our money!

This is such a common theme that the local news did a story on it, of course city officials could care less, half of them are probably on the take.

Other than these annoyances. I can think of no reason why you shouldn’t visit this city, park accordingly and thoughtfully.

Conclusion

Charleston, South Carolina is among a small handful of cities that should be visited by all Americans. It is the perfect place for a long weekend and has something for everyone. Beaches, hiking, great food, it is just an all-around great city.

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We chose Myrtle Beach for two reasons, 1) We needed desperately to get away 2) Charleston was too expensive. I will be the first to admit, my expectations were low for this southern right of passage. There were nightmares of fried possum sandwiches and 300 pounders in speedos. I learned a lot from this trip and my deep rooted biases. Sometimes when you least expect it, fun can creep up on you and deliver more than a few enjoyable moments. Myrtle Beach is not pretentious or high class by any means, but it gave us the opportunity to do something we rarely do on vacation: Relax.

The Good Things in Myrtle Beach

I found one of the best aspects of Myrtle Beach were the people. I was pleasantly surprised by how nice everyone was. It wasn’t in a creepy let me get you to my basement (or my friend’s shop in the case of Istanbul) sort of way. Everyone there, especially the locals, were genuinely friendly. I have been to tourist areas were locals acted like a tourist ran over their dog, they spoke to us with such unbridled rudeness (I’m looking at you New Orleans). In Myrtle Beach, everyone from the other guests to the bartenders were great.

The second thing I liked about this area was that you get a lot for your money. Our hotel room was bigger than at least two of my previous apartments. With a full kitchen, you can stock alcohol and food (for the love of God bring food! I will touch on this later).

Really, the best thing about my trip was I could just relax.  How bad can a place be that combines happy hour, a beach, a pool and a lazy river? So, what if you have to avoid a few cigarette butts along the way.

The Questionable about Myrtle Beach

Myrtle Beach isn’t a hot bed of attractions, but it does have some highlights. I was most surprised about how much I enjoyed the aquarium. For about $25, you really get a lot for your money and it is a place I will return.

The rest of the boardwalk, or Broadway at the Beach, and the area on the whole for that matter, seems to be a mix of worn out touristy gimmicks. If you like fudge, funnel cake, old timie photos and Ripley’s Believe or Not museums you’ve hit a gold mine. Giant volcanoes, King Kong on top of a building and various other gimmicks may remind you why you loved Barcelona so much, but on the bright side, there is enough alcohol wash away the acrid taste of any contempt you may have for the gaudy, indulgent carnival environment.  

The beach itself was actually a lot more peaceful than I remember. It doesn’t have clear blue water, but it was surprisingly quiet, especially for Bike Week. I assume in the heart of the summer it is a madhouse. As mentioned, there wasn’t a lot to do there in terms of attractions, which was perfect. We did exactly what we wanted to: Nothing. There was no need to find a must see museum or heritage site location, just us letting go of the week.

The Bad of Myrtle Beach

The food is awful, there is no other way to put it. So awful, that my question of “where do we go for Sunday brunch” was met with “Charleston.” Yes, we actually drove two hours, out of our way, to go where the food was not only edible, but outstanding. It was as if every seasons first loser of Hell’s Kitchen was forced to work in Myrtle Beach. Everything was fried and the things that weren’t, you wish they would have. There should be a sign with a skull and crossbones on the door of every restaurant. Under it should read the caption: Don’t order delivery, you may want to die..a thousand deaths for every bite.

It was almost surreal how unlucky we were with what we ate at Myrtle Beach. Our first meal was on the boardwalk, Rooster’s Restaurant & Bar, it was late, we were hungry. I tried to block the majority of it out, but I vaguely recall terrible fried calamari, some weird fish nuggets and what I believe to be a couple of partially raw scallops. The entire Broadway on the Beach was filled with overpriced tourist traps and carnival food. As we made our way to our second hotel we didn’t fare much better. The Sea Caption should go down with his ship, it was another bust. We did find a seafood bar we went to twice, Mr. Fish, the food was inexpensive during happy hour, and surprisingly not terrible, but of course fried.

I’ve learned that alcohol and hunger do not mix. Our hotel must have been run by an 80 yr old woman since they stopped serving room service at 8PM on a Saturday. Not having a neon warning sign, I ordered a pizza so bad that I wasn’t sure if I should eat it or mourn it for all it could have been. Overall, I can only repeat this advice, go for the drinks, maybe nibble on some fried mermaid or whatever they are serving. In the end, get a room with a kitchen and cook for yourself.

The Ugly

At times, I may come across as somewhat insensitive, but I feel I am doing a public service. You will see things you may not care to see and things you can’t unsee at times. This is not Charleston or the Hamptons, people are not pulling up in Mercedes or Lincolns (Ok, some were). Everyone was extremely nice, but you will experience your fair share of chain smokers, that enjoy flicking their cigarettes on the beach. Also, sunblock is your friend, the literal interpretation of a red neck is real. I saw too many people I could have mistaken for a leather bag due to the sun’s wrath. 

A Word about Bike Week

You would have thought I just announced I was going to Syria when I told people I was going to Myrtle Beach during  bike week. There are two bike weeks, I will not separate them how most people do. I will simply write, I went to the “first” one. For the most part, it can be described as uneventful; I saw a couple of bikers on the road and a few at the aquarium, but nothing crazy. Other people’s experiences may differ greatly, but for me I hardly noticed. It reinforces a main theory of mine when it comes to travel: Don’t listen to people! (except for me, I know what I’m talking about!). In all seriousness, there is no reason to listen to those who give advice based on second hand stories and hype.

The Verdict

You shouldn’t go to Myrtle Beach for the attractions. You sure as hell shouldn’t go for the food, but you should go to just relax. It is relatively inexpensive compared to Charleston or Savannah and you get a lot more for your money. You just need to set your expectations at a realistic level and maybe screw your courage to a sticking place. Myrtle Beach is not a bucket list destination, but it remains a right of passage and it is a fine place to go if you live close, want to shut your mind off, and just ‘let go’ for the weekend..

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