There is a lot of energy, both good and bad in the area. This is why some people rave about the city, while others cannot stand it. I am going to give you some tips for Marrakech to soften the blow of the madness you will experience. I am confident if you follow this advice you will make it out in one piece. So here are my 20 tips for Marrakech. As always if you have been there and can give a different perspective it is always welcome.

1. Tips for Marrakech: You cannot Get Moroccan Dirham Anywhere but in Morocco

The Moroccan Dirham is a closed currency, which means you can only get it in the country you are visiting. I usually like to get currency from my bank at home to get the best exchange rate and to have some money as soon as I land. My advice is to get some cash from the airport when you get in. The exchange rate might not be the best, but it will save some headaches. Later on, you can use the ATM to get more bang for your buck.

2. The Streets Are Like The Thunderdome

There is reckless driving and then there is what I witnessed in Morocco. As soon as we pulled out of the airport it looked like organized chaos. Organized to the people from Morocco, not me. Red lights seemed like an afterthought, people speeding in and out of traffic. More than once, and by this, I mean at least five times, there was a lady holding an infant in one hand while she had her arm around the driver of a motorcycle. Once I saw a kid on the handlebars. I would not drive in this country…sure I do not drive in most other countries, but I am certainly not driving in Morocco.

3. Tips for Marrakech: Stay At A Riad

Not all my tips for Marrakech are negatives, this one is a more positive example. A Riad is a traditional Moroccan house usually with an inner garden or courtyard. There are some great ones right in the Medina, I stayed at the Andalla Riad and Spa, you can hit the link to view the prices and reviews via TripAdvisor. The staff at this Riad were wonderful and the location was great. Riads usually offer a more intimate atmosphere with a lower cost.

4. Tips for Marrakech: Alcohol is not Readily Available (look carefully)

This one hit home because there is nothing I like more than sitting outside at noon with a drink in one hand and some snacks in the other watching the people go by. Morocco is a Muslim country and drinking is more for tourists than locals. I found their disdain for alcohol to be even greater than other Muslim countries like Turkey. I respect all other points of view on the matter (hell even in the US some counties are dry), it just is not always conducive to my enjoyment. There are places that do serve alcohol, but in the more traditional areas, especially the Medina, you may have to search a bit more.

5. The Food Is Hit or Miss

This pains me to say, because I love to eat. Also, my grandmother was born in Tunisia and made great couscous. The first dish I ate in a little café was very good, the taste brought me back to my youth. After that I had a couple of poor dishes, with overcooked chicken and bland vegetables. There really was not the variety that I was looking for, although next time I go I will make a point to explore further. Even the famous juice was not excellent, compared to what I had in Lisbon (read my review of Lisbon here) the week before. Still there were some bright spots and the street food was practically free at times. Obviously, this was my experience yours may have been better.

6. Bargain for Everything

Never accept the first price of anything. This is not Walmart, the clerks in these shops expect you to bargain, it is part of the game. You need to be able to walk away, most likely whatever this person is selling can be bought at five more stores anyway. This is especially true in the Medina (I did not go to a traditional store). Check competitor’s prices and make them work against each other, you will get the best deal. I also think they will respect you more. These are their rules I am just along for the ride.

7. Learn to Say No (and NO and NO and NO)

People will harass you here, to buy something, constantly. If you do not say NO repeatedly, they will not stop bothering you. Show them the smallest bit of interest and they think they hooked you. I was followed, scouted, and shouted at by the locals. Many times, it is also best after you said no five or more times to just ignore them. This will have the benefit of keeping you out of trouble. Some of the more aggressive people will start walking you toward a dimly lit alley or weird building…say NO and keep safe.

8. Tips for Marrakech: Expect Sensory Overload from Jemaa el-Fna square

Just a warning, prepare to be almost overwhelmed in Jemaa el-Fna…especially at night. There is so much going on you may not be able to keep your head on straight. Fireworks, food stands, people with cobras, smells of all kinds, it makes Vegas look like Idaho. For some it may be too much, and the distraction can be a bit unsafe. During my stay the noise drowned out the horse and carriage that almost ran me over in the middle of the square. I mean it missed me by less than a foot. It is fun and I like crazy, but just be warned. All this and still not a lot of alcohol.

9. Do not Get the Temporary Tattoos

In the above mentioned square you will see lines of tattoo artist giving fake temporary “authentic” tattoos. I did not get one, but I was warned about them by the owner of our Riad. Bottom line is sometimes the chemicals used are not safe and they stain the skin. I am sure there are legitimate places in Marrakech that are not dangerous, but why risk it? You are in a third world country, why trust they are using the best chemicals? It is better to avoid them all together.

10. Enjoy Sitting on the Sun

This may be one of the more obvious tips for Marrakech, but dress appropriately for the weather (especially in the summer). When I was there it was hot…I mean uncomfortably hot. I went in late April, I cannot speak for other months, but I can assume the summer is brutal. According to this site here the average temperature is only a little north of 80 in late April, but it felt worlds hotter. Maybe it was just a three-day fluke, but the sun was blasting on us with not a cloud in the sky…at times it was almost unbearable.

11. Say No to Petting The Monkeys

In Jemaa el-Fna you will notice a large number of animals, particularly monkeys. Personally, I think this is cruel, these monkeys are not treated well (from what I saw) and they should be avoided. These guys make the Tiger King look like Jack hanna. Do not support these animal venders by paying them to take a picture or pet these monkeys, it only encourages their behavior. I can care less about the cobras, because well they are snakes. I am by no means a huge animal rights activist, but I know unnecessary cruelty when I see it.

12. Expect Nothing to Go Smoothly

This one really hit home, it felt like the simplest of things went wrong and no one cared. I can think of ten different examples, but the most notable was when we were on a hop on hop off bus. The bus broke and we sat for 30-minutes before someone finally asked what was going on. No one told us it was broken down after an hour we were able to find a cab…no word from anyone working for the company. Everything felt this way, the smallest things just went wrong without an explanation. Needless to say, I am not taking a helicopter ride in this city.

13. Safety is A Concern: Take Precaution

Some other websites I have read say that Marrakech is perfectly safe, even for a solo woman traveler. I think this advice is irresponsible and puts people in danger. There are a ton of red flags in terms of safety. First, my Riad took my key and locked the door every time I left. I had to knock to get in. There was the guy that tried to lead me the wrong way on purpose…well more than one. Then there was an incident where we were walking and someone shouted at my wife, he then shadowed us for 10 minutes until I glanced over to a cop. Point being it is not 100% safe and you need to take precautions, especially if you are a woman.

14. Do Not Spend Too Much Time There (take a day trip if you do)

I could not imagine spending a full week in Marrakech. It is not that big, and I feel like I would get bored somewhat quickly. Even the Jardin Majorelle gardens which are ranked near the top of things to do in the city were underwhelming. Combined this with the fact I will not be wasting my afternoons drinking and I would be looking for things to do. Do not get me wrong, the place is certainly worth visiting. Just that once you get used to the craziness you may be looking for entertainment. There are however some interesting tours that one could take. Many companies offer desert tours which seem remarkably interesting to me. If they do not break down in the middle of the desert and fail to mention it to you.

15. Take A Hop on Hop off Bus

I know I told a cautionary tale about the bus earlier, but I still stand by this tip. You can see a lot more of the city outside the Medina if you use one of these. I have always thought they were for true tourists, and they are…but this bus is especially useful if you are there for a short time. There are two paths, one that ends at the gardens. We used about 2/3rds of one of them due to the breakdown. I like these buses because they give you an overview of the city, directing you where you may want to spend more time.

16. The Medina Can Get Overwhelmingly Crowded

Maybe this is more of a warning than a tip for Marrakech but be careful in the Medina. More than once it was a wall of people and even pre Covid that is not something you want to deal with. A million random strangers (some with less than optimal hygiene) pressed up against you pushing you in the back can be uncomfortable. There is also the question of safety, these are prime places to get pickpocketed. If you are a woman there is also the uncomfortable knowledge that you may be pressed up against a bit harder than you would like.

17. Carry Small Bills for Tipping

Tipping is very common in Marrakech; it is a good idea to carry small bills wherever you go. There are the usual people at the hotel, waitstaff etc. who get tips. There are other people that want your bills as well. People such as parking attendants or public toilet attendants all are usually given some small bills.

It is also wise to carry small bills for any food vender or shops you see, they usually have change, but not always. Having small bills helps you avoid overpaying for a small donut and cup of coffee.

18. Know the Common Scams

Every place in the world has some type of scam or con you need to be aware of, Marrakech is no different. You have the most common examples such as pickpocketing, then there are scams that are a bit more localized. I had more than one person help “give me directions” to my Riad. He literally took me for a 5-minute walk in the wrong direction to get me somewhere, not sure where. I figured out he was up to no good and turned around. Turns out I was 30 seconds from my hotel when he approached me. I found a good article here about scams.

19. Be a Bit Wearier of Street Food and Water

I was told to carry around bottled water and as a tourist stick to that (as opposed to the taps). There are worse places in the world to drink the water, but I did not want to risk it. If you are there for a short time, I think it is better to be safe than sorry. As for food venders I used them and did not get sick, but I still have some reservations. Truth be told any street food in the world can get you sick, hell I have had a New York hot dog that has torn up my stomach.

Having said this, I did witness (and ate food in places with) less than sanitary conditions. I got this crepe thing early in the morning, no less than 4 people touched it with their bare hands, before I ate it. Do not ask me why I still ate it, I just had to “assume” that everyone’s hands were clean. Of course, I did not see a sink anywhere, but I am here to tell the tale. Just take the needed precautions when getting street food.

20. Do not Expect Taxi Drivers to Know More Than You

I do not think I have ever been in a country with such poor cab drivers. Some of them have no idea where they are going. Others do not know the rules and almost get into fights with other drivers (this happened to me). I think what topped the cake was when we asked the driver how much and he said, “you tell me”. I have been there a day now and I am an expert on cab prices in Marrakesh.

Conclusion on Tips for Marrakech

These are the tips for Marrakech that I recommend you at least loosely follow. It was not my intention to scare you from visiting this city. I believe any true traveler needs to get out of their comfort zone. Morocco is a wonderful country that everyone should see. There are just some unique challenges and situations in this area. Keep your head up and you will be OK!

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Visiting Marrakesh is like dating a stripper (which, I have NEVER done.. I love you, sweetheart!), it is fun and wild, but it may kill you if you stay with it for too long. My opinion would sway instantly from one second to the next in the heart of the city. I would go one moment from being impressed by the pure energy of the city, never knowing what to expect around every corner. The next minute, I am being pissed off by the sensory overload of my surroundings, wishing I had never left the beautiful Lisbon streets!

Some may say I didn’t spend nearly enough time in the city to really appreciate all it had to offer. Maybe not, but I know my heart (or bowels) couldn’t handle a week in Marrakesh, Morocco. Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing… outside the hotel, this city is neither, and yet there was a certain allure to the craziness. 

First Impressions of Marrakesh, Morocco

Getting onto the street after a short, yet tiring flight from Lisbon we find our driver; on the road more than two minutes, I am dazzled by the free for all nature of the cars and people. We witnessed some crazy things right off the bat. For example, a woman on a fast scooter, gripping her husband with one hand and a small baby with another, like she was rushing a field. Babies must be good luck on scooters, they were on the back of them, the handle bars, all over really… helmets need not apply.

The city itself was both beautiful, and yet extremely poor in many areas. The mountains in the background, the walls of the Medina, it was like nothing I have ever seen. Pulling into our hotel, the Andalla Riad and Spa we quickly checked in and hit the streets. Shit got real immediately, you would have thought we wandered into a Dothraki village in Game of Thrones, it was such a free for all. Walking the narrow Souk, having motor bikes come at you from every direction. People shouting at you, stores everywhere, my mind almost exploded. Little did we know it was just the beginning of my adventure.

Reasons I Love Marrakesh, Morocco: The Energy

I wanted different and I got it when I visited this city. Just walk 5-minutes from your hotel and you can see more craziness here than on entire trips in other destinations. Not all good mind you, but exciting just the same. I never knew what to expect and I love that feeling of anticipation. The night made it even more interesting, when sun goes down on Jeema Market the energy was lifted ten-fold. Snake “charmers”, guys with hawks, monkeys on chains (something that can be abusive) it was maddening. Combine that with people screaming at you in every direction in five different languages, Marrakesh, Morocco was something out of a movie.  All of that, and 25 stalls selling the same orange juice…people must really need their vitamin C.

To Read Reviews of the Andalla Riad and Spa and to Book Your Hotel Click Here!

Reasons I Love Marrakesh, Morocco: Andalla Riad and Spa

This was our hotel during our short stay and I loved the establishment. The hotel offered a reprieve from the madness outside.  The employees were some of the nicest people in the city or any I encountered on the entire trip. The establishment itself was beautiful, a small boutique hotel, with a great rooftop for dining. It was close to the Jeema Market (about 10 min walk), but far enough away where it created a buffer for the noise outside. It had the added bonus of having a lock outside the door, where even guest had ring a bell to get in… not ideal if you are being chased by street toughs, but good for protection of your goods.

Reasons I Love Marrakesh, Morocco: The Beauty

Well, by beauty I mean the environment. Some of the roads got a little questionable at times. It is an amazing setting, with the mountains in the background, the old Medina walls, and the crazy shops. Like everything else in the country, my head was spinning from when I first entered. If you can look past the hustle and bustle you will find an incredible atmosphere. The environment is unique to anything I have experienced outside the city. Some of the backdrops seemed as if they were staged, you certainly don’t get this kind of beauty in Charlotte.

Hit or Miss: The Food

I don’t think I was there long enough to get a true feel for the food, although I did have some tasty things. Our first stop was a little cafe overlooking one of the smaller squares, where I had the best couscous of my life (see below) (no offense grandma!). All of the meals after that were good, nothing too crazy. Although, I did get some street food, I didn’t get as much as I normally would for two reasons. First, for the most part I was concerned about the life changing diarrhea I heard so much about. Having said this, I did put my stomach to the test for a few hours, eating donuts fried in questionable grease and a mystery meat sandwich which by any logic should have punished my colon (see above).

The second reason why I didn’t eat more street food was the aggressive sell from the merchants at the Jeema Market. I wanted to look around and pick what I wanted, yet I was so bombarded that every stall was a major turn off. It wasn’t just the approach, it was the in your face nonstop push to sell. If I walk away while you are speaking, you have already lost me, following me won’t help. The carts/stalls I did choose, like the bowel destroying sandwich, didn’t yell at me to come to them. In the square, I couldn’t even look at a juice guy without having people shouting at me. Pro Tip: If you want more business, don’t shout at the customer, try NOT selling the same thing that 25 other carts are selling, which brings me to my next point… why I hate Marrakesh.

Reasons I hate Marrakesh, Morocco: SOME of the people

First, let me say that I didn’t dislike all the people in this city, but there are some real Arseholes! I don’t want to hear the “it is a different culture garbage”, there are something’s that are universally bad. Running a man down on your scooter, almost hitting a woman with a baby, and not stopping is bad. Following me and my wife for two blocks until I point you out to a policeman is bad. Shoving me because I am not stepping over children in a ridiculously crowded Souk is terrible. 

We constantly had people try to direct us the wrong way, strike up conversations leading us away from our hotel either to get us to a shop or toward a more unfortunate situation. This is common place, so much so that we were warned not to talk to or follow anyone ‘appearing too friendly’ from the manager at the hotel. I have been to over 20 countries and 4 continents, I understand cultural differences, deliberate dishonesty or worse is not a cultural difference.

Reasons I hate Marrakesh, Morocco: It is a Hassle

The number one rule in this city is: Nothing is for Free or Easy. I was being hassled nonstop for money, every transaction no matter how simple, there was a guy (or lady) with their hand out. A vacation is supposed to be relaxing, the two and a half days I spent in Marrakesh, Morocco was anything but relaxing. Everything was trying my patience, there are no leisurely strolls or window shopping. I mentioned the street food earlier, I couldn’t even glance at the food without being bombarded with requests. If I said I already ate, they still didn’t quit. If I walked away, they STILL followed us. I shouldn’t have to be a trained escape artist to maneuver around a city.

For the first time in our travels, my wife and I decided to take a tour bus. We were enjoying our ride, heading to the Majorelle Gardens, when we made a stop. We wait and wait, finally after about 25 minutes people start getting off. Upon questioning the driver, he says another bus will be here in an hour. No information was given, we had to ask for it. Luckily, we caught the only yellow cab to come down this desolate Moroccan street, of course he charged us $20 for a ride that should have cost $5. At least while I waited I was able to get the above picture from the bus.

After finally arriving at the gardens and trying to take a picture, this guy who works at the garden grabs my phone…and insists on taking 10 pictures, and then waits for a tip. You have to be on guard for the upsell. After grabbing another cab (and dealing with two drivers fighting) we tell the guy to take us to the market. Upon parking I asked, “how much”? He looks shocked and says I don’t know, you tell me! Now who is better at determining the going rate of a cab? Me the tourist there for a day…or him the fucking CAB DRIVER in Marrakesh! I threw him about $10 of his currency and left. It was nonstop, I loved the energy of Marrakesh, but it also created a stressful atmosphere.

Reasons I hate Marrakesh, Morocco: Safety

Upon leaving our hotel, I am stopped at front desk, I was told please leave the room key. I asked the manager is it safe out there? He said “perfectly” then proceed to make sure we didn’t have our passports and explained how the two front corridors to the hotel are locked at all times. Take out the earlier mentioned guy following us or the shady people giving us misdirection, there are other ways to get injured.

I was almost trampled by a horse, run over by a scooter multiple times, there are snake charmers trying to get you to kiss their snakes…this was all in two days. Let us not forget the most dangerous thing in the city. The previously mentioned colon killing sandwiches (that taste Sooo good) all over the street. Safety…or lack of it, was one reason someone could say “I hate Marrakesh“.

Last Impressions

As the driver pulled away in our car we were still confused. I was still seeing things that shocked me. Whether it was the guy holding down a live chicken with an ax in his hand in a store window. (That chicken was in someone’s belly by nights end.) Or if it was watch YET another guy wearing a helmet losing it on the road while going 60 MPH, while it became a projectile missle for other drivers. It was all so surreal.

Do I hate Marrakesh, Morocco? Do I love Marrakesh Morocco? I am still not sure. I know I could only take it in small doses, yet the idea of never returning saddens me. If you don’t mind a stressful hassle, you will get an experience you will never forget. It is like the comment I mentioned earlier about dating a stripper…darling I had a hell of a time, but my heart and wallet can’t handle any more of your madness! (I love you, sweetheart!)

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